I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
