I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have fence marks all over my body
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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