How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
