Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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