Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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