my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been