I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.