either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's never too late to be topless.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
