going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
