Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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