I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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