This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
