one two three fourrrrnication!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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