Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize