You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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