Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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