will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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