remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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