There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
