1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
