Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
