Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
