guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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