and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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