Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
