HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
