I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
ttyl tear gas
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
