At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
