i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
