i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
only you would photoshop your dick
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
