I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
