Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
