69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
