New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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