you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
