i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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