Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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