People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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