I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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