somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize