Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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