I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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