he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize