oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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