who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it hurts more in the daytime
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
