You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
