listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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