so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
