I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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