a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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