do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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