bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i think im in europe. pls send help
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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