..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
