I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
