Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
