Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
