It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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