Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize