and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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