Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
