I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
