there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
