I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
