I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
